Multiple Mania
April 10, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
tips and tricks from mothers of multiples
The Capitol Area Mothers of Multiples Club (CAMOMC)
Multiple Mania Minutes from the January 2008 meeting
Q: Has anyone delivered at Ingham & had their multiples shipped to Sparrow NICU?
A: Nobody had experienced that – all Sparrow NICU babies had been delivered at Sparrow.
Q: Do you still do a birth plan if you know you are going to have a c-section?
A: Yes. It should include your wishes pre-birth, birth, & post birth. Make sure everyone knows your wishes & has a copy of the birth plan. Can include items such as your wishes of breast/bottle, music to be played during birth (even during c-section), etc.
Q: Did anyone experience disparate size in twin pregnancy?
A: Yes. Lots of us experienced it. As long as the doctors are monitoring you and are aware of it, try not to worry.
Q: Does anyone have opinions on Ameda vs. Medela breast pumps?
A: Janis had a co-worker recommend Ameda over Medela. Many mentioned that hospital grade pumps (can be rented) are sometimes needed for enough production for multiples.
Q: 7 month olds spit baby food out whenever it is put in their mouths.
A: They are only 7 months old – keep trying. Try tilting their chairs back slightly – like in a bouncy seat for more natural access to the food getting to the back of their mouths. Try mashed-up real food – some of the baby food tastes horrible.
Q: Having difficulties with naps. Been doing attachment parenting & don’t want to let them cry it out.
A: Try to keep them on the same schedule. Sleeping in their swings is okay. Toys recommended for the crib to entertain while falling asleep – the foot piano thing, Oceans Wonder Aquarium.
Q: Son has been sleeping in crib, daughter in swing. Now transitioning both to crib. They wake each other up at naps. They go down at different times due to staggered feeding. They are okay for night time sleep.
A: Try separating them at nap time. Add white noise. Try getting them on the same feeding schedule so they go down at the same time.
Q: Daughter has a flat head – 5 months old – When do you worry about it?
A: Try to redirect the head away from flat spot when she lies down. If it is in the back, try more tummy time. Vary sleeping/resting positions.
Q: Any recommendations of great Pediatricians?
A: Full Spectrum, Lansing Peds, Courtney Hart @ Great Lake Peds, Jain & Greenberg at Westside Peds.
Q: 17 month self feeders end up with everything on the floor.
A: This is a developmental stage. Could be defiance/rebellion. Have you tried ignoring it? They might be looking for a reaction. Seat their chairs back to back so they don’t feed off of each other throwing food.
Q: Problem with older child screaming because it seems to work for the twins.
A: Tell her no screaming – that she must use words to get what she wants. It’s a normal behavior for children to regress when babies are born. They are looking for attention. One Mom noted it took about 7 months for her older child to adjust.
Q: How do you deal with the extra public attention given to multiples, especially with a non-twin child around?
A: Let the older child introduce them so that they are part of it. Put the older child in the stroller with one of the twins & carry the other. People don’t notice the twin thing so much when they are separated.
Q: Stephanie is looking for someone with a medical background that may be able to look through her medical records from NICU. Blood types of her children are different than what the NICU records show.
A: Someone suggested that her OB/GYN or her Pediatrician might be willing to look through those records.
Q: How can you tell if twins are identical?
A: DNA test is really the only way.
Q: 19 month olds showing interest in potty training but are still in cribs. Do they have to be transitioned to beds first? They are currently waking up dry.
A: No. Night-time training is typically later than day time training. They can still be in cribs for now.
Q: Child refuses to poop in potty. Seems to be scared.
A: If you can catch the moment, move to bathroom to poop even if it is still in a diaper. That way they get a sense that it should be done in the bathroom. Progressively move to toilet in little steps.
Q: Has anyone trained straight to the toilet instead of using a potty chair?
A: Yes – about 5 Moms (probably more).
Multiple Mania Minutes from the October 2006 meeting
Here are some of the questions and suggestions that came up during our October meeting’s Multiple Mania session.
QUESTION #1: Is it normal for women’s hair to fall out postpartum? How long will this continue?
ANSWER:
1. Yes this is normal. The average person sheds 100 head hairs a day, each of which is replaced by a new growth. Hormonal changes slow hair loss considerably, making the hair thicker during pregnancy. During the first three to six months after delivery, all the hairs that were scheduled to have fallen out during pregnancy are shed. Re-growth can’t keep up with the loss of hair at first, and hair looks much thinner than usual. By the end of your baby’s first year, your hair should be back to pre-pregnancy thickness.
QUESTION #2: At what age do kids quit taking naps?
ANSWER:
1. It depends on the child. All kids are different when it comes to naps. Members suggested having a parent lie in the room with the child/ren to avoid getting up and playing.
2. Make sure the kids are getting plenty of exercise, so that they are good and tired when it comes to nap time.
3. Have a routine, such as calming music, a massage or book reading.
4. Sorry…..we all know that some kids just aren’t nap takers.
QUESTION #3: My child is holding her breath until she passes out.
ANSWER:
1. While this is scary for parents, this is usually considered to be normal. These spells usually occur when a child begins crying, either because of a fall or a temper tantrum, and then involuntarily holds his breath and faints. During a spell, a child will become blue and limp and then quickly begins breathing again and wake up. This type of cyanotic breath holding spell usually begin when a child is between 6 and 18 months and are outgrown when they are about 4-8 years old. Unfortunately, until they are outgrown, they may occur once a year, once a month, or even more frequently. Children can also have pallid breath holding spells, in which something painful happens, and they quickly turn pale and pass out without crying very much. Breath holding spells are often mistaken for seizures, especially if they occur after a fall and the child makes some jerking movements before waking up, but unlike children who are having seizures, these children will have a normal EEG test. Although extensive testing is not necessary for most children with simple breath holding spells, since they are associated with iron deficiency anemia, a blood test to check for anemia might be a good idea if that hasn’t been done yet. An EKG test is also sometimes done for these children to look for an underlying heart problem. If you are not getting a clear answer about these episodes from your Pediatrician, you might get a second opinion from a Child Neurologist.
QUESTION #4: If more than one child is ill with the same symptoms, is it necessary to take both to the doctor?
ANSWER:
1. Yes, it is best to take both children in. Make sure when making the appointment, the office knows how many children need to be seen. If only one child is showing symptoms, some doctors will give a prescription for other children as well just in case. This prevents the parent from having to return to the office for a second visit. If the doctor doesn’t pre-write a prescription for the additional child, try calling for a prescription before packing everyone up.
QUESTION #5: My 2 year old singleton is throwing toys to get my attention, what should I do?
ANSWER:
1. Praise: Whenever you see the older child touching the baby gently, make a positive comment. Make a big fuss about the important “older brother.” Hug and kiss your older child and tell him how proud you are.
2. Watch your words: Don’t blame everything on the baby. “We can’t go to the park; the baby’s sleeping.” “Be quiet, you’ll wake the baby.” “After I change the baby I’ll help you.” At this point, your child would just as soon sell the baby! Instead, use alternate reasons. “My hands are busy now.” “We’ll go after lunch.” “I’ll help you in three minutes.”
3. Acknowledge your child’s unspoken feelings, such as “Things sure have changed with the new baby here. It’s going to take us all some time to get used to this.” Keep your comments mild and general. Say, “It must be hard to have Mommy spending so much time with the baby.” or “I bet you wish we could go to the park now, and not have to wait for the baby to wake up.” When your child knows that you understand her feelings, she’ll have less need to act up to get your attention.
4. Give extra love: Increase your little demonstrations of love for your child. Say extra I love yous, increase your daily dose of hugs, and find time to read a book or play a game. Temporary regressions or behavior problems are normal, and can be eased with an extra dose of time and attention.
5. Get ‘em involved: Teach the older sibling how to be helpful with the baby or how to entertain the baby. Let the older sibling open the baby gifts and use the camera to take pictures of the baby. Teach him how to put the baby’s socks on. Praise and encourage whenever possible.
6. Making each feel special: Avoid comparing siblings, even about seemingly innocent topics such as birth weight, when each first crawled or walked, or who had more hair! Children can interpret these comments as criticisms. Take a deep breath and be calm. This is a time of adjustment for everyone in the family. Reduce outside activities, relax your housekeeping standards, and focus on your current priority, adjusting to your new family size.
QUESTION #6: What are the best ways to potty train a little boy?
ANSWER:
1. Have child sit front facing until he is able to stand and aim.
2. Put cheerios in toilet for “target practice”.
3. Stay positive. Don’t make negative remarks. Positive reinforcement is best while potty training.
QUESTION #7: How can I tell when my older child is lying about doing homework?
ANSWER:
1. Have child do homework for 2 weeks with parent. If there is not any homework that night, have child do practice work with parent. This may encourage child to do work, if they have to do work with parent anyways.
2. Speak to school to see if progress reports are available on a regular basis.
Responses to questions were researched and confirmed on www.about.com accessed on November 3rd, 2006 and in What to Expect the First Year, Copyright 1996, Workman Publishing, New York.
Multiple Mania Minutes from the September 2006 meeting
Here are some of the questions and suggestions that came up during our September meeting’s Multiple Mania session.
QUESTION #1: 6 month old children who are pacifier-dependent at night. The problem is that they lose it during the night and cry.
SUGGESTIONS
a) have them go cold turkey (but more when they are 9-12 months old)
b) they will begin to find them themselves, especially if there is a light in the room (or you get the glow-in-the-dark pacifiers)
c) try consoling the child without the pacifier
QUESTION #2: baby must be held to keep food down (GERD and colic), mom desperately needs sleep
SUGGESTIONS
a) use a sling
b) place a washcloth behind the baby’s shoulder or back while in the bouncy seat
c) snuggle into the couch, so that the mom can sleep while holding the baby (supported by pillows)
d) consider a change in formula
e) ask for medicine for the colic
f) and make sure any breastfeeding of the twins is kept on a schedule
QUESTION #3: nursing babies, but now they have teeth, they bite and mom has had mastitis
SUGGESTIONS
a) bite them back, grab their cheeks, apply ice to their feet – anything to distract them or shock them when they bite. Have there be an unpleasant sensation every time they bite.
b) contact La Leche, they always provide advice on breastfeeding
QUESTION #4: have 4-month old girls in the same bed, should the mom separate?
SUGGESTIONS
a) if they fight, separate them
b) if they need each other, keep them together
c) if keeping them together is getting dangerous (one sleeping on another), separate them
d) otherwise, have the mom do whatever feels right to her or her situation
QUESTION #5: how does the mom find time to do anything when there are infant twins in the house? Mom has a 17 year old, an 8 year old and 6-month old twins
SUGGESTIONS
a) mom shouldn’t expect to do anything while she has infant twins
b) wear the babies in a carrier/sling whenever there is something that must be done
c) have the older kids fend for themselves for a while
d) pre-make the formula (in a pitcher), keep it in the fridge
e) pre-make the bottles (pre-measure the formula in the bottles, then add the water)
QUESTION #6: boys biting mother-in-law and they bite no one else
SUGGESTIONS
a) she must be responding in some way that encourages them
b) perhaps she cuddles them too much and they’re trying to get away
c) they do grow out of the biting phase
QUESTION #7: when is the best time for potty training, mom has 16-month olds
SUGGESTIONS
a) the average potty training time is 2 years old for girls, and 3 years old for boys
b) if they show an interest in potty training, slowly nudge them toward it
c) do not push them or they will resist
d) kids will regress, so don’t be surprised
QUESTION #8: advice for potty training boy/girl twins?
SUGGESTIONS
a) although it will seem as if the mom is potty training the twins at the same time, the mom really only trains one child at a time (whichever one seems ready), the other will copy the one who is really training (even if he/she is not ready)
b) boys can be trained sitting down
If you would like more information please contact us via email: info@camomc.org
Multiples in School
April 8, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
Concerned about who gets to decide whether your multiples are placed in the same or different classes at school? Check out the information on the new proposed legislation!
When We Meet
April 8, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
Our meetings are held at 7:00pm on the second Wednesday of each month except July, August & December. We meet in Room G on the second floor of the Sparrow Professional Annex Building across from Sparrow Hospital. We welcome everyone who has an interest in multiples. While many members approach the meetings as a “time away” from their multiples, children of all ages are welcome (in fact, there are some members that are very keen to hold babies again). So do not hesitate to bring along your little ones. We always talk about issues relating to multiple pregnancies and parenting, including a question and answer period.
Meeting Schedule for 2009-2010:
October 14th
November 11th
(nothing for December)
January 13th
February 10th
March 10th
April 14th
May 12th
June 9th
(nothing for July or August)
September 8th